Beloved, as we were praying for you, I remembered something that happened years ago to me. I heard, “Tess Jump the track, (Get off your current mindset) you already possess all you will ever need, for life and for godliness (2 Peter 1:2-4) just know in your “knower” it’s already yours. Let it soak in, that it is yours, like hand lotion on parched skin…altering, life giving moisture, healthy, vibrant, with the capacity to stretch.”
And all it took was consistently showing up every morning for Broken Bread and the enjoyment of sweet fellowship with Him.
Rom 12:2, says in the (TPT)
2 Stop imitating the ideals and opinions of the culture around you, but be inwardly transformed by the Holy Spirit through a total reformation of how you think. This will empower you to discern God’s will as you live a beautiful life, satisfying and perfect in his eyes.
I needed to renew my mind to transform my life. My way of thinking was so out of harmony with Our Creator. My thoughts were so stained with a sense of the “man made”, so skewed about how life was suppose to work. And suddenly it was all about how to walk with G-d, which was intended to be so completely organic, natural, harmonious, so filled with an utter peace, a restfulness, a Divine Fluidity. He said His yoke was easy and His burden light, that I was to lean into Him, learn from Him, walk with Him, let Him mentor me. He didn’t want me weary anymore from trying to be good enough or how I was trying to force and figure everything out on my own.
Matthew 11:28-30 (TPT) Jesus said…
“Are you weary, carrying a heavy burden? Then come to me. I will refresh your life, for I am your oasis. Simply join your life with mine. Learn my ways and you’ll discover that I’m gentle, humble, easy to please. You will find refreshment and rest in me. For all that I require of you will be pleasant and easy to bear.”
His Way was so completely foreign to me like nothing I knew or heard of before. I felt I finally found a Love Who was willing and able to Mentor me, bring me out of the dark groping I was doing to “make life happen”, which always felt like I was trying to sew hamburger together. Nothing ever came together for me. Nothing solidified. I was exhausted from swimming up stream, trying all I could to conform or be prospered in every area of life, and my health was showing the signs of the wear and tear. All that work I was doing to swim up stream and He says, “Tess relax, you float…go with Me. Where I am bringing you is to flow as One with the River, not against it…the undercurrent is the Holy Spirit.”
I found that G-d’s Way was all about focusing on cultivating a living, loving relationship with Him, first and foremost. These were the baby steps of my walk of faith in the simplicity of our conversations and what I read in His Word as His Words to me. Then came believing by faith, trusting in His Word, His Promise, for my needs. A promise spoken from the Word to my heart, pressing me to believe and it came drenched in Love and Sacrifice. To drive home the point to me, He reminded me daily that He really wanted this relationship with me. That He was willing to do anything to prove it, even the death of His One and Only Son, so I would never live another day away from Him. And even now nothing can separate Him from us, us from Him (Rom 8:31-39)…this was Love at its most beautiful…most extravagant…never before seen then, nor since. True Love would always thereafter, be defined by sacrifice…True Love Sacrifices…and a true love from us would respond in kind, with the sacrifice of obedience. Obedience is loves response. A true love from us would be to follow and live the Teachings of the One we love. And all it took was each day taking Him at His Word, making it personal and real. A depth of coming to know Him that would grow more deeply with each day. And it meant meeting with Him daily, so that trusting Him would become so natural, so second nature that it would be simple enough for a child. In fact, He set it all up so that only those who would be willing to humble themselves and become like a child, could enter in, to truly experience what to us was supernatural in our eyes, very much unseen but more real a Kingdom, than anything we have upon the earth. To define “child like”, I use what the Amplified Classic Edition states in : Matt. 18:3,4 “Trusting, Lowly, Loving and Forgiving”…it takes a true humility…an innocence that is clearly a wondrous work from within and by the Holy Spirit.
From that point, it was Love beckoning me to come to Him with my needs. He wanted to be my Source of All…and what was required? It meant believing without seeing, having no tangible evidence whatsoever, that what He said He would do, He would do for me. Screwed up me, the hot mess, the one that even my family didn’t want. Do you hear the phonograph needle ripping across the vinyl album and the horrendous noise that makes, the screeching halt of all that was so beautiful, so blissful? Believing for my needs to be met sounded like that to me. This was a going to be a stretch, because the truest sense of “engaged, activated faith”, was to be “convinced” that I already had what I asked for…yikes!! (See Mark 11:21-24)
Before I received a real revelation of G-d’s Love for me and a true established daily abiding relationship with Him, I tried to avoid faith at all costs. Because you’d have to continue to believe, without doubting even while the timing had to ripen while things that were coming together behind the scenes were moving too slowly. It was to be steadfast, immovable. A complete reflection of Abram and Sarai, getting their identity shifted with name changes so they could even see themselves differently in order to strengthen their faith, to believe for a promise that was impossible with man though completely possible for G-d, if He had Abraham’s faith to establish it upon the earth (Gen 17:5,15-16 & Rom 4:18-22). And I didn’t like that life came with so many demanding needs, and a good amount of these needs weren’t even my fault, my creations. They were coming from the unfolding of life, things I couldn’t control! These situations showed up in my life like abandoned kittens left at my door. I had to deal with these needs, but I didn’t want to have to “believe” for their being met. I’m a worker bee, a people pleaser. I can fix it, figure it out; give me a hammer and duct tape type of a gal. I learned to survive and overcome since I was a child. It was just better to ignore the “kittens” crying for their sustenance than ask and believe that G-d would give me what I needed or wanted in order to have my needs answered. Or that terrible hunger in my heart that seemed to beg for sustenance too, growling like a too empty belly! How I viewed meeting my “needs” seemed to either be: me, meeting these on my own, which usually resulted in me being in the throws of temptation, which usually resulting in my creating Frankenstein’s younger siblings all over the place! Or face down in deprivation, which usually back fired into an ugly spasm, to which I looked like the “hungry junk yard dog” at the end of my will power. Or the white flag, finally surrendering and go to G-d and trying to believe He’d actually understand why I wanted or needed what was in my heart, try to believe it was already mine, then stand the tests of faith.
And there He was. He waited patiently, lovingly for me to come to my senses and ask Him. And not only that but daily every morning He would encourage my faith, inspire me, empower me to believe, to stay in that place of “engaged, activated, convinced” faith. I was never alone and faith was no longer a burden, as long as I was daily drawing from the sustenance of His Love and His Word. But it was my inconsistency that truly tripped me up, though He was continually wooing me with His Love and expressing His desire to meet my needs. Every time I picked up my bible He would whisper His Love and the fact that He so wanted me to simply Trust Him; love Him enough to believe that He actually had my best interests at heart, to stay consistent in our Mentoring, our meeting every morning. Of course there’s always a Crisis to fall back on along the way, when something massive happens and all you can do is stand there and trust that G-d will intervene, which He always did and continues to do. But you come to a point, that you realize there’s an easier way…to simply stay plugged in every morning. This became my non-negotiable. To this day I refuse to miss my time with Him because I know immediately inwardly, I’m on the slippery slope. Maybe others can do it. I just came to G-d too wounded to be off that Life Support from Him every morning. Abiding in Him, and breathing in His Spirit, fanning the flames and stirring the embers of our love with our conversation every morning. I steal away while it is yet dark to whisper to Him that I am here. I light our candle, pour the coffee and savor every moment I can with Him and Love is always faithfully waiting for my arrival.
Beloved, what about you and your own ever growing journey of faith? Your intimate relationship that is truly the necessary foundation for faith to be nurtured, strengthen. There just simply is no concept of faith, trust, believing, if there is no relationship being daily nurtured in Loves Embrace, is there??? I’d love to hear from you. I want to enjoy your journey with Him, together.
Know we are praying for you. I would love the opportunity to minister to you more. Please join me for my daily radio feature “Gentle Whispers”, Monday – Friday at 7:10am, 8:10am, 5:10pm & 6:10pm on Fortress 1230am Harrisburg, Pa and Fortress Internet Christian Radio through the live stream at wkbo.net. You can also start the weekend with me Saturday mornings from 6a – 9a on “Meditations of the Beloved” featuring beautiful reflective, meditative music as well as hourly prophetic Prayer words.